Someone asked me how to help her child become more confident– especially given that she felt she lacks confidence as well.
A lack of self-confidence comes in many shapes and forms, and learning how to build confidence is an ongoing project for most of us – we are all a work in progress!
You can’t will yourself to be confident. There’s no trick. There’s no magic button (as much as we all wish there was).
Confidence comes from time and experience - but there are a number of things you can do to build your (or your Child's) confidence and a few ways that training martial arts can help to increase it as well.
Some of them are just small changes to your frame of mind; others you’ll have to work on for a bit longer to make them familiar habits.
1. Look at what you’ve already achieved
It’s easy to lose confidence if you believe you haven’t achieved anything. Make a list of all the things you’re proud of in your life, whether it’s getting a good mark on an exam or learning to surf. Keep the list close by and add to it whenever you do something you’re proud of. When you’re low in confidence, pull out the list and use it to remind yourself of all the awesome stuff you've done.
Within our classes, we do this through what we call “Tip Testing”. We celebrate every accomplishment no matter how small. At the end of each cycle the kids have the chance to earn a colored stripe for each technique they have learned. This is a great visual representation of just how much they have learned over the last month or two of training. In addition to tips they test for new belts as well. While tips show how much they have achieved over the last month or two, each belt is a great indicator of how far they have come since day one of their training!
2. Think of things you're good at
Everyone has strengths and talents. What are yours? Recognizing what you’re good at, and trying to build on those things, will help you to build confidence in your own abilities.
Within our classes, we reiterate this often. It is important to be aware that nobody is good at everything (no matter how it may seem) and that while you may not be particularly strong in one area, there are many others in which you are.
3. Set some goals
Set some goals and set out the steps you need to take to achieve them. They don’t have to be big goals; they can even be things like baking a cake or planning a night out with friends. Just aim for some small achievements that you can tick off a list to help you gain confidence in your ability to get stuff done.
California Defense Academy Kids Program is perfect for this. We help the kids to set both short-term goals (such as earning stripes), mid-term goals (such as earning their next belt) and long-term goals such as achieving their black belt
4. Talk yourself up
You’re never going to feel confident if you have negative commentary running through your mind telling you that you’re no good. Think about your self-talk and how that might be affecting your self-confidence. Treat yourself like you would your best friend and cheer yourself on.
We become like the people we hang out with most. But we are with nobody more than ourselves. “Watch your thoughts, they become your words; watch your words, they become your actions; watch your actions, they become your habits; watch your habits, they become your character; watch your character, it becomes your destiny.”
5. Get a hobby
Try to find something that you’re really passionate about. It could be photography, sport, knitting or anything else! When you’ve worked out your passion, commit yourself to give it a go. Chances are, if you’re interested or passionate about a certain activity, you’re more likely to be motivated, and you’ll build skills more quickly.
Like the California Defense Academy Krav Maga Kids Program! We make learning fun!
Just don’t forget to give it time….We didn’t get low confidence overnight, and we won’t boost it overnight either. But If you take these action steps and with the help of California Defense Academy your child’s / your confidence will be sure to increase!
